Accidents long after potty training

[weezypops]

Iris has been potty trained since January, both night and day and doesn't have accidents beyond the occasional 'I was busy playing and didn't get there in time' sort, but over the last month or so has been wetting herself a lot.

It only every happens at home, never at nursery, never at night and she seems to think it's a bit amusing and an excuse to put on her pyjamas, so I've been making her get properly redressed again when it happens in case it was just about her wanting to wear PJ bottoms. I thought maybe it was just that she wasn't getting there in time, or not pulling her trousers down enough but over the last couple of days it's happened two or three times a day, and the last couple of times she didn't even bother trying to get to the toilet, just wet herself and didn't mention it.

I'm finding it so hard to stay calm with her - she's been potty trained nearly a year so there is no reason this should be happening! It's like she just can't be bothered to go to the toilet, or thinks it's funny.

Any advice?

[weezypops]

Oh, this has also come at the same time as big temper tantrums/battles of wills etc and the bit where she has to go and get dressed with new knickers and trousers has been lasting up to an hour with her refusing to do it, so I wonder if that has something to do with it too. I just don't know how to handle it.

[Jeanette]

How about threatening to put her back in babies nappies.

[Schmushe]

Shes probably testing you Louise, baring in mind she now is in nursery, and they all test boundaries when big things change the routine, she is at nursery with other children who may have different toilet needs and has different people telling her what she can and cant do. Thats normally why you see the changes in behaviour and toileting is something she can control - if you tell her to get dressed, she has to (eventually), whereas toileting is up to her to control and shes probably looking for your reaction to it all and seeing if she can get away with it / what you'll do.

Personally I would priase Felix for using it and staying so dry, maybe give her a sticker chart for everytime she goes to the toilet and praise it big time. Have a chat with her about staying dry and how it makes you sore if you wet yourself and all stinky (all her friends dont want to play if shes stinky!!). I have resorted to the, you will go back in baby nappies conversation, and only dogs wet themselves (Not technically true but for a little one they dont know!!).
Make her take her clothes off, wipe herself clean, put clean ones on, put the wet ones in the wash, wipe the floor, etc... Make it as boring as possible and she'll soon get bored of doing it.
Just be consistant in how you deal with it, continue to priase the good, which alot of parents often forget and that leads to worse behaviour.

(Dont rule out she may have a UTi though??)

[weezypops]

Yeah, that's basically what I've been trying (the making her clear up, get herself dressed etc.), and I do think it's a testing thing, it's just so frustrating. I have said to her about going back into nappies but I don't know if it's something I would actually do, you know?

I just had a talk to her about it all and she ran off to go to the loo and was very pleased to get lots of praise etc. I might try the no-one likes a stinky pants routine too. Haha. Gah! Bloody kids!

[nubs]

She had an infection around Sam's birthday didn't she and this sounds different, personally I would say battle of the wills and change in everyday routine - i would personally persist with what you have been doing even to the point of ignoring her indoors when she has had an accident and make her feel unconfortable enough to sort herself out, eventually she will get bored and go back

It is so frustrating

[bluewaterbabeiam]

Has this got worse with Felix starting school Louise? Just wondered?

[mumoftwins+1]

I'm still having this with Alex, but refusing to put him a nappy except at bedtime as will rely on the nappy. Alex thinks its hilarious to wet and mess himself, only does it at home or at nursery so makes me look like i'm a liar. Someone told me to ignore it as doing it for attention but with Brendan showing willingness to use the potty i can't go down this route, we have even tried naughty step for when he does it to make him see its naughty / not what is done. Also said wont be allowed to go to big school if he carries on as he really wants to go to school.

[nubs]

Leanne I would praise Brendan for doing well but if Alex does it on purpose don't say a word to him no telling off or warnings just change him into new pants and trousers and continue on - jack went backwards and then got into a habit after he burnt his hand and I was pregnant with sam and the only way I got him back on track was to ignore - Sam luckily has only had the odd trickle by accident and has been dry at night over a yr and during the day since the beginning of the year x

[weezypops]

So we're back at this again after doing well for a month or so. Recently though it's seemed less like a tantrum thing and more that she's always leaving it too late to go - she normally wets herself right next to the toilet and is upset about going but the sighs and says 'it's okay, I'll go and get some new clothes'. Gah! She still only really has them at home, apart from one at nursery yesterday.

[Jenn]

I think her brain might just be working so hard that she is forgetting! Does she not jig when she needs to go? William still jigs about someimes when he is reading a book or doing a puzzle/game and I have to tell him to go to the loo. How many times a week does it happen?

[weezypops]

She does sometimes but not every time so you can't always tell. Often when she has an accident it will be like she's suddenly surprised she needs to go and doesn't quite make it, but she only misses it by a matter of seconds. This last few days it's been happening a couple of times a day, but last week it hardly happened at all, so it's quite sporadic.