Killing/Shooting/Fighting Talk

[weezypops]

Since starting school Felix has picked up a lot of ways of playing I'm not entirely happy about. Games that involve shooting and fighting and even killing - obviously he doesn't really get what it all means but he's also suddenly obsessed with death and talking about it so he does understand they're related to some extent.

I know it's inevitable really, we played games like this as a child too but up until this point he's never played like this before and I'm torn between letting him get on with it because kids do play games like this and continuing how we've done things, which is that we don't play these sort of games in our house - we don't talk about killing, hurting each other etc.

What do you do?

[Schmushe]

We dont have games like that, we dont pretend to have guns or swords or anything that can hurt someone. I dont like it tbh and never have done.
It is something they all go through, and I know they play / have played at school, but I dont like it at home! And we certainly dont have any toys which are guns!!

[nubs]

Obviously you can't shield them forever - my boys play like that and so long as its not aggressive talk I let them get on with it, its like cow boys and Indians, aliens and spacemen etc
We don't highlight the killing hurting element - to them they are just playing a game - at home you could just distract and try and change the game rather than go down the route that you don't agree that they should play killing, shooting games etc and explaining why.
A lot of children's programmes do show naughtiness and this sort of play so it's hard for them not to be interested in trying to role play the same x

[weezypops]

We have a knight's costume that came with a sword but that's the only thing like that, I'm not a fan of having anything like guns in the house either. I don't know what I would do if someone bought one for Felix at some point though.

It's sort of semi-aggressive talk but not meant in an aggressive way if that makes sense - it's like he's copying the words and the noises but doesn't actually mean that he's going to hurt anyone. The only TV we watch is pretty gentle stuff really too so I think it must be from school.

SO far I've not been trying to make a big deal of it, but have been saying 'no shooting thank you, we don't talk about hurting each other' etc. It just feels a bit like I'm fighting a losing battle as I don't want to make it into something exciting by not allowing it, and as uncomfortable as it makes me, I do remember playing cops and robbers, 'war' etc. as a kid and guns being a part of it. Bah!

[Gillybean]

Dillon has knights and plays with them and they have tiny little swords, he also has army men and lines them up for battle, or lego men that he makes little toy guns for but it is all innocent play. We also have nerf guns and have a family shoot out but its just for fun no emphasis on killing or anything

[Jenn]

William isn't into this but whenever he has wanted to do sword fighting (around Christmas with all the wrapping tubes) we do! Mind you tho - William has done fencing so to us - it is more of a sport - with all the en garde and putting the sword up against our ace and bowing and standing in position and thrusting and marking against each other - if one of us gets out tho - we sort of go - eeeuuurrggh and fall to the floor in fits of giggles - but i don't see it as real violence.

He isn't into guns either but we have played (in big groups) where the child goes in the middle and points at you and you 'die' but again it is not vioelnt and it is fun and we all laugh and see who can die best and the children are all in fits of giggles. Again tho - William has done air rifle shooting, gatt guns, archery and mini target shooting. he thinks of these as sports, to shoot at a target of rings to score points and to impove with each go that you take. And he does it with a instructor. He would never point it at a living creature (animal/human) as that it not allowed.

He does not use any aggressive language - I would put a stop to that if he did. I don't have that in my house.

Is their a school policy on violent pretend play? There might be and they may be un-allowed to play it whilst at school. TBh - Felix is a very bright boy and mature - if you told him what these phrases meant..... would he still want to say them? If he knew they were mean, unkind, even rude?

Gill - William wants a nerf gun - I have told him next Christmas as the bits are too small for James. I used to have something similar and they are so much fun!

Last year - was the first year that William got a water pistol. Before that - we used clean garden spray containers as they do the same job - but last year he bought himself a little gun shaped one.

Unfortunately guns are on tv - all the time! Even gigglebiz when Justin stops the man from robbing the bank! I don't think we can remove them completely so IMO - it is better to have them and play nicely with them. However - I am against the ones that really really look real i like it to look like a toy. If William asks for one - then I will get him one. I had one as a child and I think I am ok?

Hmmm.. I have waffled.

[nubs]

at jack's school they are not allowed to play pretend guns or make guns or swords but they can make wands with lego

[weezypops]

No, they're not allowed to play fighting/gun related games and that sort of talk is discouraged too. I think sometimes a little slips past in the playground though.

[XxJack~AcexX]

We love playing Nerf with all Jacks guns. I think its harmless really and lots of fun, the same really just for fun.

I think when it comes to boys doing stuff and talking about guns etc I dont think they realise really and just see it as just another game/toy.
I think it will be hard Lou but like you say your not making a big fuss over it.
Felix for e.g may go around to a friends house and they may have stuff like this. Its like when Jack was a little he wanted to play with a pushchair when he got the chance as he didnt have one if you get what I mean whereas if he had one in the house he wouldnt be so wanting for it. x